Who Killed the Ram?
( Khadu Lapata)
(Script for One act Suspenseful, Hilarious, Humorous Stage Play)
Written by Lalit Mohan Thapliyal
Translation by Bhishma Kukreti
[The drawing room is of an Ayurvedic Vaidya or Ayurvedic doctor and an astrologer cum Karmkandi Brahmin. Hari Singh enters the drawing room with rage)
Hari Singh – Pundit Ji! Tell me the future.
Vaidyaraj – Sunny! Sit please. What is this Hari Singh? Without saluting me you are directly asking the future? Why are you in such a rage?
Hari Singh- You! Tell me the future. I am not here to tell the matter. You have to find the matter. You tell the future. Today, definitely, I shall behead four five men.
Vaidyaraj (he searched his medicinal bag and takes two dose of medicines and fold them into a piece of paper or Pudiya) – Take one dose just now with cold water and take another dose after one hour. Sleep after taking medicine.
Hari Singh (with more rage)- Pundit Ji! Don’t joke with me. I lose my temper there will be bloodshed …
Vaidyaraj (understanding the seriousness)- Well! Hari Sing! I understood …
[Vaidyaraj brings out a piece of paper, draws lines by pencil) There are Mekh, Mithun, Rahu out of Sun orbit and Ketu entering into mars though Jupitor. Hari Singh! Go inside and bring burning coal on Sajala ..
(Hari Singh goes inside room)
Vaidyaraj (self communication) – What might have happened? Till yesterday, nothing was news about Hari Singh and his family members. That means his family members are not sick. Hari Singh has big sheep and goat herds. That means something is wrong about his sheep or goats.
(Hari Singh returns with Sajla with burning coal and put Sajla on Hukka. Vaidyaraj smokes Hukka)
Hari Singh- You are great astrologer. Now, tell the truth…
Vaidyaraj- Son! Very sad. It is definitely about quadruped, any animal.. or …It seems that one or more quadruped is lost. May be in danger ….might be …
Hari Singh (with great enthusiasm) – Yes! Pundit Ji! You are hundred percent right. Who might have killed my huge and tall Ram? I want to break his legs and head.
Vaidyaraj (draws more lines on paper)- Saturn is heavy over Sun and Sun is watching marsh … It means no death but Jupiter is parallel to Moon ..It is not sure that there is death. However, it is definite that the animal is lost.
Hari Singh – Pundit Ji! Do more calculation. I want the truth.
Vaidyaraj- Dear Hari! Sun is also watching Jupiter and there is always enmity between Jupiter and Venus. Definitely, the Lagna or star movements show that killing or death of animal is inevitable. However, Venus is watching Marsh too, therefore it is not predictable whether human killed the Ram or quadruped killed the Ram. But life of Ram is either in danger or is dead.
Hari Singh (fearful and haplessness) –Pundit Ji! Don’t tell those inauspicious words. The huge Ram is for at least five thousand rupees.
Vaidyaraj- Nobody can stop the gad’s curse or anger. However, there are ways and means to lessen the curse by pleasing stars.
Hari Singh- Tell me the remedies.
Vaidyaraj- Nagraja deity is humble and does not require any life. What about Nar Singh deity? Dudhiya Nar Singh deity also does not go for killing any animal. That means there is sever curs of Daundya Nar Sing deity. It means you did not sacrifice a sheep for pleasing Daundya Nar Singh. The Daundya Nar Sing deity is unhappy and he requires an animal sacrifice to pacify Him.
Hari Singh- O My God! I lost my Ram and would lose another sheep.
Vaidyaraj- Nobody knows when our deity becomes unhappy on us. You have to organize Nar Singh deity ritual and sacrifice sheep. It is not me but my calculation of stars is telling the reality.
Hari Singh (frustrated) - What a fate! I lost my ram and I will have to sacrifice another ram.
Vaidyaraj – By the way! When did you lose your huge ram?
Hari Singh – I did see him day before noon. From that time, I could not see him.
Vaidyaraj- That ram was very fat and his thighs were also very fatty. Am I correct?
Hari Singh- Definitely, no ram was big as my ram.
Vaidyaraj – Yes! That’s why many mutton lovers had eyes on that meaty ram.
Hari Singh- Pundit Ji! You are absolutely right. Those buggers wanted to kill my meaty ram.
Vaidyaraj- Who were those, wanted your ram?
Hari Singh – Definitely, Nattha and Mangsiru killed my ram. They used to touch and press thighs of my ram. The notorious group of Nattha and Mangsiru and two three useless youths are dangerous for our village. Now, I am sure those dishonorable men killed my ram. I am rushing will see that this group is no more living in this earth. I am rushing to behead them with my Khunkari (sword) (walks out).
Vaidyaraj- Hari! Wait a minute. Use your brain. The astrological calculation revealed that either biped or quadruped killed you ram. Therefore, don’t come to any conclusion. You are well familiar that foxes are roaming in our village binderies. Foxes or tiger might have killed your big ram. Don’t indulge in any violence.
Hari Singh- Pundit Ji! You are unnecessarily confusing me. As per your advice I am going to search in nearby rivulets. But I am sure those notorious buggers killed my ram. I am visiting rivulet valley to search ram. If I don’t get him I shall kill those notorious buggers.
Vaidyaraj- First, You search the ram here and there.
Hari Singh (going out) -I am going to search my ram. But I shall not leave those …
Vaidyaraj (Self) - Oh my god! Hari Singh does lose his temper very badly. Once, in temper, he ate his uncle’s nose. I don’t know what would happen.
(Vaidyaraj started grinding medicinal plants in the vessel)
(Tulsi enters)
Tulsi (bow his head) - Pranam Bada Ji (father’s elder brother)!
Vaidyaraj- Tulsi God blesses you. When did you come from Delhi?
Tulsi- I came one week before from Delhi. However, I had gone to my maternal uncle village.
Vaidyaraj- Was there any religious ritual?
Tulsi – Uncle! Just a trip…
Vaidyaraj- Do you live in Delhi?
Tulsi- Yes, Uncle. I got service there.
Vaidyaraj- What do you do there in Delhi?
Tulsi- There is one of the largest offices in Delhi.
Vaidyaraj- I asked what do you do there?
Tulsi- How do I make you understand?
Vaidyaraj- Just by telling in simple language …
Tulsi- There is one specific work in that large office. Somewhere it is electric department, other side is railway department, above it irrigation department and so on. In one room, engineers building dams, in other room, people are digging canals from dams. Here the clerks are writing on papers and there others are typing on computers. There are piles of files under the table and under the table. Even there are people sitting on files. Thousands of people are engaged in taking files from one office to other office.
Vaidyaraj- Files? I am dead sure; these files would be very heavy.
Tulsi- Uncle! You know! It is government job. Therefore every work is very heavy and important. Forget about government job. Tell me about your family. You would not understand the complexity of offices and Delhi.
Vaidyaraj- Tulsi! Before taking medical practices and Punditai job, I was in Delhi. I was head peon in labor department.
Tulsi- Oh! When were you there in Delhi?
Vaidyaraj- it is quite old. On that time, rice was available sixteen kilos per rupee. Clean tap water was available for twenty four hours. Now, I heard that tap water is non potable.
Tulsi- Un1 Your complains have some sense. By boiling we set get fresh water. There is no harm in boiling water. Adjustment is the call of the day.
Vaidyaraj- There is no harm in taking boiled water. It’s very fine that you started liking Delhi. Now, definitely, you would not be enjoying rural life here in village.
Tulsi- Motherland uncle, motherland! It is must for me to enjoy here. Otherwise leaving good healthy season nothing is here in hills. In fact, this region is not suitable to live at all. There is vegetable available. There is no eggs and English bread available here.
Vaidyaraj- Yes! You are right. No fresh vegetables available here. We pass our time on dehydrated radish, onions and Badis. You Delhi fellow would be hungry as no vegetables are available here.
Tulsi- Yes! Uncle, just I was taking food for the sake of taking it. But, yesterday, I cherished meal.
Vaidyaraj- Cherished meal? What do you mean by cherishing dinner?
Tulsi- There was lamb mutton and fine rice in dinner. I never had such tender lamb mutton curry in my life.
Vaidyaraj- From where you got lamb mutton?
Tulsi- I don’t know. However, I was told that there was a religious feast in nearby village and a big ram was killed for that feast.
Vaidyaraj- It is just impossible a religious feast in nearby villages without my ritual performance. I am the priest. Who offered you lamb mutton?
Tulsi- There was one boy. I did not recognize him. He was selling mutton. I bought two kilo mutton at twelve rupees.
Vaidyaraj- What is this nonsense. If it was religious feast how anybody could sell the sacrificed lamb meat?
Tulsi- I did not ask. I was interested in lamb mutton and I bought the same.
Vaidyaraj- Sunny! Now, you will get interested knowing all that when the ram owner would come with Khukari (small sword) in his hand. The ram owner Hari Singh was searching the culprit with Khukari.
Tulsi- What do you mean by Hari Singh was searching the culprit with Khukri in his hand?
(Parmanand enters)
Parmanand- Vaid Ji! I am dying. (He catches his stomach and sits uncomfortably.)
Vaidyaraj (checks the hand -Nabaj of Parmanand) Parmanand- I don’t think it the condition of dying. (Now, checks eyes) – There is no sign of fatal disease too. (Checks stomach as if playing a drum)- Oh my God! You stomach is tight as stone. The stomach is also warm as fire. Your stomach is sounding as Dhol.
Parmanand – Yes! My stomach is paining as if there are bees biting my intestine.
Vaidyaraj- Your stomach is also jumping like boiling water.
Parmanand – Give me some relief medicines. I am just to die.
Vaidyaraj- Bhula (younger brother in relation)! Have you gone to market and have you had a heavy feast?
Parmanand - I will tell you the truth. I Yesterday, in dinner, I took thirty two Rotis (Indian bread).
Vaidyaraj- Did you eat thirty two breads? What do you mean? What was the vegetable?
Parmanand – There was sheep mutton. Mother cooked mutton so tasty that I took thirty two Rotis. I am suffering from constipation. Please give me some tablets.
Vaidyaraj- Did you consume roasted sheep skin and intestine?
Parmanand- Yes Bhaiji (elder brother) , before dinner we had Kachboli means roasted sheep skin and intestine (he cries and catches stomach).
Tulsi- Every person should take care. Tasty food does not mean you consume out of proportion.
Parmanand – Who is this preacher?
Vaidyaraj- He is son of Raija.
Parmanand – Provide these preaching to Raija. I heard yesterday, he bought two kilos sheep mutton.
Vaidyaraj- Brother! Take two tablets now and two in night.
Parmanand- Should I take tablets in hot or cold water?
Vaidyaraj- Definitely there would curry leftover from yesterday mutton curry.
Parmanand- Yes curry is there as leftover.
Vaidyaraj- Take tablets in mutton curry and go to cremation place your own.
Parmanand- Bhaiji! I am dying and you are joking. Deer is taking last breath and hunter is saying deer thighs are thin.
Vaidyaraj- Tell me! From where did that sheep mutton come?
Parmanand- Natthu sold me sheep mutton and was saying that there was religious feast in nearby village.
Vaidyaraj- O! Foolish man! Don’t you know that mutton of religious ritual is never sold?
Parmanand – Yes! You are right that mutton of religious ritual is not sold. But I bought from Natthu. I don’t understand how come Natthu …..
Vaidyaraj- Don’t worry. Khukri of Hari Singh will make you understand.
Parmanand- What do you mean by Khukri of Hari Singh would make me understand?
Vaidyaraj- Just, wait for some time and Hari Singh will be coming with sharp Khukri in his hand?
Parmanand- but I did not harm him.
Vaidyaraj- Hari Singh lost his ram from day before yesterday. He is searching the ram killer and mutton eaters very badly.
(Loud call of Hari Singh comes from outside- I shall behead everybody. I shall not spare anybody who ate ram mutton)
Vaidyaraj- I would not intervene. You both take care from Hari Singh.
Parmanand- Hari Singh is very cruel man when he loses his temper. He is also stronger than me. I am hiding inside. (Parmanand takes cover of bed sheet and sits there)
(Tulsi goes out)
(Hari Singh enters with Khukri in his hand)
Vaidyaraj- did you find your ram?
Hari Singh (rage fully) - Those buggers consumed my ram.
Vaidyaraj- Hari Singh! Keep aside that fetal weapon. I am asking what about your ram and you are directing Khukari towards me.
Hari Sing (with softer gesture)- No No ! I am not directing Khukri towards you. I shall not leave that Parmanand alive. I shall cut his both the legs and will distribute his mutton to dogs.
Vaidyaraj (he took Khukri from Hari Singh) - What did Parma Do?
Hari Singh- Yesterday night, he consumed lamb mutton. From where did he bring ram mutton?
Vaidyaraj- He might have brought from city market.
Hari Singh – No, No! I saw big ram bones behind his house. I recognized bones of my ram.
Vaidyaraj- Were there your signatures on bones?
Hari Singh- Whatever you say but I shall kill Parmanand.
Vaidyaraj- I heard a rumor. You will know something about your ram. Sit , take Hukka and take some rest.
(Hari Singh sits on Parmanand)
Hari Singh – What is the rumor?
(Hari Singh feels awkwardness, Parmanand shakes)
Hari Singh – What type of seat is this that is shaking as if there is earth quake?
(Hari Singh got up from Parmanand)
Hari Singh – Who is here?
Parmanand Under cover)- I am patient.
Hari Singh- Why are you covered?
Parmanand- I have high fever and wants perspiration.
Hari Singh (recognizes voice)- Oh! You are Parmanand. (Hari Singh catches neck of Parmanand)
Hari Singh – Oh! The ram killer is here.
Vaidyaraj- Leave his neck.
Parmanand (towards Vaidyaraj) – Bhaiji! What is Hari Singh talking about ram?
Vaidyaraj- Bhula! Ram is an edible animal and is quadruped animal.
Hari Singh- Tell me all names who killed my ram.
Parmanand- I don’t know who killed your ram. However, yesterday, evening Natthu came to me and offered mutton. I spent five rupees.
Hari Singh- Was there Mangsiru with Natthu? Who else were there with Natthu in killing my ram?
Parmanand- Natthu was alone. Had I knew it was ram I would not accepted the offer. Ram mutton does not suit me. I don’t know anything about killing sheep and roasting that.
Hari Singh (taking Khukri from Vaidyaraj) – I shall not leave Natthu and Mangsiru. This notorious pair is destroying whole village. (He gets out with Khukri).
Parmanand - This Hari Singh is devil.
Vaidyaraj- When you did not do anything wrong then why were you afraid?
Parmanand- Angry man is always carnivorous animal. Nobody knew if Hari Singh would have harmed me by Khukri. But Bhaiji! I don’t have stomach pain.
Vaidyaraj- Not to worry. You will need me in future.
Parmanand- I am just joking, your tablets are worthy.
Vaidyaraj- I have tablets and medicines for your any pain. But do not have any remedies if Hari Singh returns again.
Parmanand- Bhaiji! You have to calm down Hari Singh. You know that he ate nose of his uncle when he was in rage. I am afraid! He would do something unexpected.
Vaidyaraj- But, You all did the wrong most with Hari Singh. You all consumed the big, fat meaty ram in one night.
Parmanand – How could I knew that the lamb was theft by Natthu and Mangsiru.
Vaidyaraj- But, the bones are directing that you, Tulsi, Natthu or Mangsiru theft the ram and killed.
(Tulsi enters)
Tulsi- Uncle! Had Hari Singh come again?
Vaidyaraj- Wait and see Hari Singh is searching the ram eater very badly.
Tulsi- I am not afraid of anybody.
Vaidyaraj- Tulsi! You would not be afraid of Hari Singh but you definitely would afraid of his sharp Khukri.
Tulsi- I am not afraid at all. We found that Natthu and Mangsiru sell unauthorized country liquor and mutton too. They bring mutton and liquor from Bazaar.
Parmanand- It is very bad for our village.
Tulsi- They don’t do liquor business in village but do in other village and fair. Report has been communicated to Patwari and police too.
Vaidyaraj- That means, it is definite that Natthu and Mangsiru theft ram, killed the ram and sold to you all.
Tulsi- Surprisingly, you and me brought mutton from Natthu but not from village but from Kajrikhal market. It is now, disclosed that seven days before, he killed six rams or goats in fair and could not sel. Now he was selling mutton in Kajrikhal market.
Parmanand – Oh my god! That means we consumed quite old rotten mutton. That is why I got stomach ache.
Tulsi- Definitely.
Parmanand – These sinful persons spoiled my Dharma and Karma.
Vaidyaraj- Where are Natthu and Mangsiru?
Tulsi- Both are absconding. Police and Pradhan-Patwari are searching them. Hari Singh is also after them with Khukri in hand.
Parmanand- No body is safe when Hari Singh in rage.
(There is loud cal of Hari Singh – I beheaded! I beheaded in one shot)
Vaidyaraj- God saves them!
(Tulsi and Parmanand take shelter behind Vaidyaraj)
Hari Singh –Pundit Ji! I beheaded by him one shot from Khukri.
Vaidyaraj- O Hari Singh! It is unlawful and sin to behead somebody like that.
Hari Singh- Tit for tat. For whole night and a day I was a worried man. He also did harm to me. I took revenge by beheading.
Vaidyaraj- Did you find where was your ram?
Hari Singh – Yes and I beheaded.
Vaidyaraj- Where was the ram? Whom did you behead?
Hari Singh- That bad ram was in my grain store and he consumed and spoiled my whole grains.
All- What?
Vaidyaraj- Oh! The ram harmed a lot.
Hari Singh- yes! But I also beheaded the ram in one Khukri shot. His body was at one corner and head was at another corner.
Parma- You are always a strong man.
Hari Singh- Come with me to clean and roast that notorious ram and will sell mutton.
Parmanand and Tulsi- Why not? let us go to your house.
Vaidyaraj- Send me head and legs as gift for Pundit.
(Vaidyaraj started crushing herbs)
(Shutting the curtain)
Copyright @ Heirs of Lalit Mohan Thapliyal, NOIDA, Uttar Pradesh, 2014
Please take permission from heirs of Late Lalit Mohan Thapliyal for staging the play.
Xx xxx
Script for one act Suspenseful, Hilarious, Humorous drama/stage play written by Lalit Mohan Thapliyal; Script for one act Suspenseful, Hilarious, Humorous drama/stage play written by Lalit Mohan Thapliyal born in village Shrikot; Script for one act Suspenseful, Hilarious, Humorous drama/stage play written by Lalit Mohan Thapliyal born in Khatsyun Patti; Script for one act Suspenseful, Hilarious, Humorous drama/stage play written by Lalit Mohan Thapliyal belonged to Pauri Garhwal; Script for one act Suspenseful, Hilarious, Humorous drama/stage play written by Lalit Mohan Thapliyal born in Uttarakhand; Script for one act Suspenseful, Hilarious, Humorous drama/stage play written by Lalit Mohan Thapliyal who worked with Pioneer newspaper ; Script for one act Suspenseful, Hilarious, Humorous drama/stage play written by Lalit Mohan Thapliyal worked in WHO; Script for one act Suspenseful, Hilarious, Humorous drama/stage play written by Lalit Mohan Thapliyal worked in New York; Script for one act Suspenseful, Hilarious, Humorous drama/stage play written by Lalit Mohan Thapliyal worked Geneva; Script for one act Suspenseful, Hilarious, Humorous drama/stage play written by Lalit Mohan Thapliyal wrote five famous Garhwali dramas; Script for one act Suspenseful, Hilarious, Humorous drama/stage play written by Lalit Mohan Thapliyal wrote many Hindi dramas or stage plays; Script for one act Suspenseful, Hilarious, Humorous drama/stage play written by Lalit Mohan Thapliyal founder of Jagar and Sadhna Natya Kendra ; Script for one act Suspenseful, Hilarious, Humorous drama/stage play written by Lalit Mohan Thapliyal born in1920; Script for one act Suspenseful, Hilarious, Humorous drama/stage play written by Lalit Mohan Thapliyal expired in 2005;