Uttarakhand > Utttarakhand Language & Literature - उत्तराखण्ड की भाषायें एवं साहित्य

Satire on various Social Issues - सामाजिक एवं विकास के मुद्दे और हास्य व्यंग्य

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Himalayan Warrior /पहाड़ी योद्धा:
wow. Great Brother.. Really interesting.

Can u also make satire on Uttarakhand Govt also ? Badly required for poor performance.

एम.एस. मेहता /M S Mehta 9910532720:
कुलानन्द घनशाला

जिठाणा कु भैसाब, सासू कू मांजी,
मेरू नौ लेकी भट्योन्दी च,
अपणा बुबा कु कुजाणी क्या ब्वलदि
पर मेरा बुबा कु पापा बोलणी च।
नांगा मुण्ड मां पल्लू धनु, धोती पैरण नि आंदी,
टी शर्ट-जींस पैरण मा जरा भी नी शरमांदी
झुकी सेवा लगौण मा कमर चसक पड़ जान्दी,
गाली़ अर गिच्चा चलौण मा द्वी हाथ अगाड़ी जान्दी।
बिना सौ सलाह का जब मर्जी मैत भाजी जान्दी,
फिक्वाˇ सी घ्ुामिघामी, ब्यखुनी हाथ हल्कैकी ऐ जान्दी,
काम काज कनु बुनै त जन लचुड़ी आई हो, टुप से जान्दी।
अर पकायूं खाणू सबसी पैली गाडी खै जान्दी
जरा कुछ ब्वलणे त बिना बाजौं का ही नचण बैठी जान्दी,
मां-बैणी गाल़-घात देकी धौ-धौ कै घिरे जान्दी।
गाड़-फाˇ , डांडा-फांस-जैर खाण की धमकी तक दे जान्दी,
कि दहेज अर वीं निर्भागी लब मैरिज की भी याद दिलै जान्दी
मिन बोली चुची ब्यो त ब्यो ही च,
दुनिया से बाकी बात थ्वींड़ी हांेयी च,
वींन गुरौं सी ठप-ठपाक मारी खबरदार,
ब्यो नी हमारी त लब मैरिज हांेई च।
शुभ दिन शुभ घड़ी देखी हाथ जोड़ी बोली मिन,
चुची नारी त देवी कु रूप होन्दु
वीन जुता की सी ठक्क चोट मारी,
हां नर भी त वींकु भगत होन्दू।

एम.एस. मेहता /M S Mehta 9910532720:

विकास की भैंसी
 डा० नागेन्द्र जगूड़ी ‘नीलाम्बरम्’ 

दिल्ली बिटेन चलदी ब्यांई भैंसी
अर देहरादून ऐकतैं बाखड़ि ५ैजांदी
जब पौंछदी उत्तरकाशी अर चमोली
अल्मोड़ा या पिथौरागढ़
डी० यम० का बंगला पर
तब तेखड़ा ५ै जांदी
तिसरा दिन एक लुटिया देंदी
जब पौंछदि ब्लॉक मा
बी० डी० ओं० का आफिस
तबरि दस्त रदां लग्यां
तब भैंसि सिर्फ पतलू मोˇ करदि
अर जब भैंसि पौंछदि- रंगतु-मंगतु का चौक मा
सौणु-बैसाकु का भैंसवाड़ा
तब भैंसा कू मोल़
भैंसा का ही ढामणा पर लग जांदू
अर यनु विकास देखिक तैं
गांधि जी कु यू चेला दंग रै जांदू।

Bhishma Kukreti:
Satire and Fatkar
                     Once upon a time , there were bulls in my village 
                                  Bhishma Kukreti
         When telephones were not available , I and my family had to visit Pahad or my village.. Thanks to mobile phone availability and news of Pahad available on Internet that now, I don’t need to show my snobbish, full of make up, urbanized, civilized, egotistical  face to our literate but uncivilized village fellows. On mobile phone, I can be in touch of villagers. By calling to my relatives or village fellows , I get some knowledge and  I boost myself to other migrated Pahadi in Mumbai that I have full knowledge of  Pahadi villages  and their grass root problems. I worship along with other deities the mobile phone  which is blessing for me that mobile phone don’t allow me not to visit my ancestral village.
 Yesterday, was a festival and to know what is happening in villages that I heighten in my opinion to other migrated Phadai in Mumbai , I called my uncle (my father’s far cousin) .
  I said, “ Oh ! Uncle ! Congratulations ! For this auspicious festival !”
  He shouted on me , “  What congratulations ? These days, festival are  tedious for we villagers.”
 I showed synthetic worry and sympathy , “ What did happen Kaka ?”   
 He yelled , “ Kharindu hwe ge !  I am on the way to other village which, is twenty  kilometer away .”
I asked, “ Is some body died that you are not present in village on   this festival ?”
He told, “ It is more than dieing our beloved. At least we get whisky after funeral from deceased’s family side”
 Now , I was really worried as some grave matter was there and I asked in pathos voice , “ What is so urgency that you need to go on foot to other village  which is twenty kilometer away from our village?”
 He replied unenthusiastically, “ You know , today we have to put oil on horns of bulls and offer them Peendo (barley  flour cake )  and sesame  oil.”
 I showed my knowledge arrogantly, “ Yes ! Kaka! On this auspicious day, every family worships bulls as symbol of our gratitude to bulls who are backbone of our agriculture,  put oil on their horns and  offer to bulls  Peendo and sesame oil. “
Kaka said, “ Since, no family in our village or nearby villages does farming, therefore, no family  has bulls, I have to go twenty kilometer away to other village where by default, a family has a pair of bulls…”
 I asked , “ What do you mean by defaults , there is a pair of bulls?”
Uncle answered, “ It is mistake of lone caw of that family that all the time she gave birth to male calves.”
Now understanding the case, I said, “ Thanks  the mistake of reverend caw and there is custom to kill the male calves before or after delivery as we Indians  kill the female child before her birth .”
 He supported, “ Yes 1 this is boon in the ruins that caw of that family gave birth to male calves only. I am overloaded by Peendo and sesame oil bottles to carry all the way to other village.”
 I asked shockingly, “ What do you mean by overloaded ?”
 He revealed, “ Since, I am the only male alive in ten families of  our village left because of migration , I am carrying Peendo and sesame oil bottles of ten  families .Now I am putting off phone as I have to climb high slope for fifteen kilometers.”
 I called to my far maternal  uncle of my ‘mamkot’ village and congratulated him . He angrily screamed,”  A very bad day ! “
 I asked, “ Is  there any damage ?”
 He answered, “ I am roaming village to village in search of a bull to put oil on  their horns, offering them Peendo and sesame oil.”
I asked, “ Could you not find a pair of bull in your area?”
 “ No , Forget about matured bulls , there is no single male calf in our area and now I am in the territory of other Tahsil as each one of us sells calf to Naziabad business men as soon as caw leaves providing milk” he said and put off phone.
  I called to a relative in my in law village, “ Sasur Ji ! Have you found bulls to offer Peendo and sesame oil ?”
 He answered , “ Oh Jawani Ji ! After visiting many villages , I got a family , which by default ha a pair of bull.”
 I asked, “ What do you mean by default?
“ This am was in Delhi. When Uttarakhand was created,  in great hope, he left a good paying job in Delhi and took farming a profession in village and bought bulls for plough.” he answered.
 I interpreted , “ Is he happy taking farming profession in village.”
 He rebuked , “ You fool! No body does farming in our modern village in Pahad. Since, other families don’t do farming , this man cant start farming.”
 I questioned, “ Then what for is he  having bulls “
 He replied , “  I don’t know about how he is  meeting his daily expenses. But I know that in each festival, villagers from four five Tahsils come here to offer Peendo and oil to his bulls. He doe not take prepared Peendo but takes barley, mustard, sesame oil  and charges one thousand rupees from each family for touching his  bulls.”
 I said, “ Oh ! “
 He said, “ I am standing in the long line of offerings to bulls. There are around four hundred men before me and three hundred after me in the line.”
I put off the phone as there was nothing   to ask.
Copyright @ Bhishma Kukreti, bckukreti@gmail.com



Bhishma Kukreti:
Satire and Fatkar
        Blame Others to  Hide Our Own Weaknesses !
                        Bhishma Kukreti
  The other day, my old uncle (bada)  from village called me that while  cleaning the village, the cleaning people put all debris in our chauk (country yard before our houses). He asked me to talk to Gram Pradhan to remove debris from our chauk.
 I called from Mumbai to Gram Pradhan and said, “ Namaskar Pradhan kaka ! Please arrange to remove debris from our chauk .”
 Instead of accepting the mistake he growled on me , “ You silly Pravashi don’t know that what is happening in our village! “
  I asked, “ What has happened ? “
    Gram Pradhan explained, “ How can I work properly to remove your debris as  my opposition leader in village is involved in many criminal activities and you are bothered about your debris.”
   I asked, “ But Pradhan Kaka ! How come the criminal acts of your opposition leader is hurdle in removing debris from our chauk.”
 He replied, “ How come !  I can remove debris from your chauk , if a leader of next village is minting money through his Rashan shop.  “
 I surprisingly asked, “ Kaka , what is the relation of next village leader minting money through his Rashan shop with debris lying in our  chauk?”
 He answered with rage, “ You Mumbaikar Garhwalis cant understand that in another village, a village councilor beats his wife on weekly basis and we civilized people cant do anything .
  I asked , “ Kaka ! Tell me when will you arrange to remove debris from our chauk? “
  He shouted, “ you fool! Do not understand that in our area every teacher takes alcoholic drinks  every night and these teachers are now danger for the poise  teaching profession “
    I once again asked, “ But Pradhan kaka , teachers are not coming there to remove debris from our chauk “
  Gram Pradhan screamed , ’   You Pravashi cant understand that  Patwaris have increased their corruption fess exuberantly and now just for recording a complaint they are taking hundred rupees under the table.”
  I did not understand about new behaviour of Garm Pradhan . I cut off phone and called my own uncle (bwada/bada) and asked him, “ Bada ! Is garm Pradhan mad ? I was asking him debris problem and he was blaming whole world ?
 My bada (uncle) explained, “ No ! No ! Gram pradhan is not mad but he became wise. He attended a congress rally and leant many tricks. He learnt from Sonia Gandhi, Man Mohan Singh and Pranav Mukharji that when Congress is caught in corruption charges , non stopping of inflation etc then  blame opposition or Rashtriy Swayam Sangh  “
 I asked, “ Bada ! There is one word in Sanskrit for this learning . What is that ?”
 He told , “ Yatha Raja Tatha Praja means the subjects follow the ruler. Our village council chief is following Sonia Gandhi and Man Mohan Singh to blame others to hide his own weaknesses. “
 Copyright @ Bhishma Kukreti, bckukreti@gmail.com 


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