Light Humor
Things We Learn at the Time of Election
Bhishm Kukreti
We come to know about many important things at the time of election only.
Like we come to learn from election that through voting we have power to retain the same political party in power and we have power to drive away the ruling party and pave the way for opposition party to become ruling party and ruling party becoming responsible opposition party as of now, the Congress is in opposition in Uttarakhand but same party was in power before last general election of Uttarakhand. Though, according to Bhartiya Janta Party, the Congress party in Uttarakhand never proved that Congress is a responsible political party at all as from the standard of Bhartiya Janta party, Congress had been failure to disturb and stop assembly sessions as Bhartiya Janta party had been disturbing parliament sessions very successfully.
Though before, election we had always, wrong impression that people fight election for making wealth as A Raja or Kalmadi made wealth for themselves and for their godfathers too. However, we learn from election that people stand for assembly or parliament seats because they want to serve the country and society. We learn from election that you can’t serve your country without being a Jila Parishad member, municipal committee member or assembly member. According to those who fight election, NGOs don’t serve the society better than politicians.
We learn at the time of election that there is a word in English dictionary ‘Manifesto’ and every political party publishes its own manifesto. We learn at the time of election that publishing ‘manifesto’ by a political party is a custom which does not have any relevancy for all political parties at the time of election and thereafter too. ‘Manifesto’ is kind of a ‘file newspaper’ of Dehradun. The publisher/editor of a ‘File Newspaper ‘prints a couple of copies to submit in government agencies as DAVP for getting government advertisement payment , submits a couple of copies at government agency for getting newsprint quota at cheaper rate and never distributes the newspaper to readers. Same way, political parties publish ‘manifesto’ to show the ‘manifesto’ to media that the media does discussion on ‘manifesto’ and political parties get little bit of publicity. We learn from election that we voters never are aware the meaning of ‘manifesto’ of a political party. We learn through media only that the election ‘manifesto’ of all political parties running the election in Uttarakhand that no political parties of Uttarakhand take Garhwali-Kumauni languages seriously.
We learn from election that it is not easy to get election ticket for national and strong local political parties. It is not enough to be a devoted, hardworking party worker but you should have influential horse to ride (a godfather) at high command to get ticket for you and many ladders (strong followers and chamche) below you to push party to offer you ticket. Even then you can’t get ticket if your competitors are stronger than you. It is not enough that your competitors are driven out by all your ‘Tikdam’ or manipulation but in all circumstances, you should be a winning candidate. We learn from election that even if you are a winning candidate having no black spot on your image and there is a Don/Bhai/Dada type of aspirant who does not need any help from party to win, the political party will never offer ticket to a candidate with clean image but will offer ticket to Don/Bhai/Dada type of candidate. We learn from election that political parties put their bet on winning horse or candidate and clean image is immaterial for all political parties. Otherwise, BJP would have not offered ticket to Dr. Ramesh Pokhariyal who was definitely sacked by BJP’s high command for bad image of Pokhariyal in terms of corruption. Pokhariyal is a winning candidate and corruption charges on him are immaterial for election winning capability.
We learn from election that it is not easy to win an election after getting ticket of national or strong regional parties. You should have organizing power, should have effective election management, should have a capability to weep where you need and to laugh where is demand for laughing, you should have capability to please everybody –every time till you get elected and get ministerial post. You have to have a great maneuvering ability and sense of understanding people timely and their mood before your competitors understand. We learn from election that though no politician wants to open many borders or ‘morcha’ but in election, the candidate has to fight with many opened borders to get elected and you should be competent enough to tackle wisely so many borders at a time. On top of it, you should have enough money to spend without election commission knowing the exact figures.
We learn from election that our democracy is very strong compared to our neighboring country Pakistan. Pakistanis are not sure that whether their votes will see that any elected parliament will run its full term or there would be an army takeover. We Indians are sure that in our country, the army is not interested to take over Indian governance from politicians and Pakistanis are sure that even there is an elected Pakistani government in front as show case but the real power is in the hands of army.
We learn from election that all political class-worse, bad, better or good and all classes of voters-vote for caste, vote for development , vote for party, vote for regionalism, don’t get chance to vote due to ill political practices love democracy and every Indian wants to see that our democracy live forever.
I am sure in future, with Nagraja, Nand Devi, and Devi Jagar; we Kumauni-Garhwali will have many Jagar (religious dance and song) of Prajatantri Devi. The grandchildren of Preetam Bhartwan or Kabootari devi will sing the Jagar of Prajtantri Devi and my grandchildren will post all Jagar of Prajatantri Devi with interpretation in English on Internet for the use of migrated Kumauni and Garhwalis. When the grand children of Preetam Bhartwan will get chance to perform the Jagar-dance-song of Prajatantri Devi on the parade organized for the Chhabis January/republic day celebration at Delhi, the grandchildren of all folk singers of Kumaun and Garhwal will accuse grandchildren of Bhartwan that they used ‘Pava’ (manipulating agent) in Delhi to get chance at republic day celebration in Delhi . Every singer would like to show people that they could sing the Jagar of Prajatantri Devi better than grandchildren of Bhartwan. Very soon, the Jagar of Prajatantri Devi will be craze among youth .
Copyright@ Bhishm Kukreti
Garhwali Satire, Garhwali humor, Garhwali wits to be continued tomorrow …….
