Articles By Bhisma Kukreti - श्री भीष्म कुकरेती जी के लेख

[Bhishma Kukreti]

                     Army Camps in Garhwal under G.W. Trail
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       Administration of G. W. Trail in Garhwal and Kumaon -4

History of British Rule/Administration over Kumaun and Garhwal (1815-1947) -5
            History of Uttarakhand (Garhwal, Kumaon and Haridwar) -843
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                              By: Bhishma Kukreti (History Student)
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              Baldock built a bungalow near the ruined palace in Shrinagar.  Nearby his bungalow, the barracks and camps for Santari/guard men were erected.  It became essential for controlling the nuisance of many santaries/ guards that Trail had to establish a military camp in Shrinagar.
      Trail got a mango garden from an old woman for Rs33/- for establishing military camp.    It was decided that in future government would not pay any rent to the old woman. 
    In the first week of January 2016, dacoits looted textile bundles those for Shrinagar in between Nazibabad and Kotdwara. On 17th January 2016, the textile business men reported about looting Gardner and reported that the cost was Rs. 600/-.  It was requested to government that there should be horse army for patrolling on Nazibabad to Kotdwara road.
          The temporary army men in various camps of Kumaon were continuously making nuisances in Kumaon and few were leaving the camps. As soon as Gardner went to plains side, the temporary Pathan soldiers of various camps in Kumaon became totally indiscipline. They built groups for looting the subjects. Pathan soldiers captured the food stores of Rutherford and started looting nearby villages. On 29th February 1816, many Garhwali soldiers (now in British service) were dispatched to Kumaon from Shrinagar.
               Jail Repair in Shrinagar

      There was only one jail in Garhwal in Shrinagar. In Garhwali King and Gurkha time, foots of prisoners were put inside wooden fetter. It was painful. Trail made iron fetters. In Gangawar (British Garhwal), tying the prisoner by iron fetter started from 1816.  However, in Tehri Wooden fetters was in custom.
                       Establishing Treasury in Shrinagar
              The treasury of Garhwali King inside the palace in Shrinagar was then ruined. Gurkha local officers used to take state money for them and did not send to regional or central head quarters. Therefore, the amount of tax collected by local Gurkha officers of Garhwal was less and did not require huge treasury. Nepali Subba used to keep the tax amount under his possession.
        British officials corrected the tax detailing and recording and bigger tax amount started reaching to Shrinagar. Trail built a treasury house with strong boxes. Officers kept the tax money received from Garhwal and materials such as gold, wool, Chanvar etc as tax received from Bhaotiya business men were kept on those strong boxes. There was arrangement for protecting treasury.

(Chapter Reference - English Pre Mutiny Records, Kumaon 1816, part-1, Vol. – 7, , Atkinson, page 40, Maularam, Johan Pemble, page 307) 
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Copyright@ Bhishma Kukreti Mumbai, India, bckukreti@gmail.com 6/7/2016
History of Garhwal – Kumaon-Haridwar (Uttarakhand, India) to be continued... Part -844
*** History of British Rule/Administration over Kumaun, (Pauri , Rudraprayag, and Chamoli) Garhwal (1815-1947) to be continued in next chapter
(The History of Garhwal, Kumaon, Haridwar write up is aimed for general readers)
XX   
References   
1-Shiv Prasad Dabral 'Charan', Uttarakhand ka Itihas, Part -7 Garhwal par British -Shasan,  part -1, page 123 
2-Maularam, Badariashtak
3-Devar, English Pre Mutiny Records
4- Atkinson, Himalayan Districts vol. 3 ,
5- English Pre Mutiny Records, Kumaon 1816, part-1, Vol. – 7
6- Johan Pemble , Invasion of Nepal
      Xx
History of British Rule, Administration, Policies, Revenue system,  over Garhwal, Kumaon, Uttarakhand; History of British Rule, Administration, Policies Revenue system  over Pauri Garhwal, Udham Singh Nagar Kumaon, Uttarakhand; History of British Rule, Administration, Policies ,Revenue system  over Chamoli Garhwal, Nainital Kumaon, Uttarakhand; History of British Rule, Administration, Policies ,Revenue system  over Rudraprayag Garhwal, Almora Kumaon, Uttarakhand; History of British Rule, Administration, Policies ,Revenue system  over Dehradun , Champawat Kumaon, Uttarakhand; History of British Rule, Administration, Policies, ,Revenue system  over Bageshwar  Kumaon, Uttarakhand;
History of British Rule, Administration, Policies, Revenue system over Haridwar, Pithoragarh Kumaon, Uttarakhand;

[Bhishma Kukreti]

Realistic Modern Garhwali Poetry
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                 इलमतु दादा   (यथार्थवादी  गढ़वाली कविता )
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रचना --    जयानंद खुकसाल  ( जन्म  1925 , उण्यूं , अस्वालस्यूं , पौड़ी  गढ़वाल  )
Poetry  by - Jaya Nand Khuksal

( गढ़वाली कविता  क्रमगत इतिहास  भाग -39 )
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इंटरनेट प्रस्तुति और व्याख्या : भीष्म कुकरेती
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हैळ लगांदा बुखणा बुखांदा,
इलमतु दादा भदोड़ा बांदा।
कुरता चिरीऊँ ट्वप फट्यूं च ,
क्वाटा बौंळो   सफाचट नी चा। 
घुंड मा सुलार तैको फट्यूं चा;
झपड़म झपड़म हिटणा लग्युं चा। 

रकर्याट कैकि पुंगडौ म आंदा ,
इलमतु दादा भदोड़ा बांदा। 

बळद भि वैका  ठडगैळ छीना ,
ढमणा दुयुं  बैठयांऊ छिना।
रंगू काळा कबरीणा छिना ,
दांत भि ऊंका निखुऴयाउ छिना।
ठेलि ठेलि बि अगनै नि जाँदा ,
इलमतु दादा भदोड़ा बांदा।

हौळो कु वैकु हथनड़ु ,नी चा ,
निसुड़ा का मुख ऊनि ख्वंड्यू च। 
यक सिंग्या ढांगो झिल्लो जुत्युं चा
जिमदार कना को क्वी ढंग नी चा
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को छौ घसेर्यो  सूणि लियां
घुतडु  ब्वे मा  इन बोलि दियां।

( साभार --शैलवाणी , अंग्वाळ )
Poetry Copyright@ Poet
Copyright @ Bhishma Kukreti  interpretation if any

Realistic Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, RealisticModern Poetries, Poems Contemporary Poetries, Contemporary folk Poetries from Garhwal; Realistic Modern Garhwali Folk Songs,Poems  Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Modern Poetries, Contemporary Poetries, Contemporary Realistic folk Poetries Poems  from Pauri Garhwal;Realistic  Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Poems ,Realistic Modern Poetries, Contemporary Poetries, Contemporary folk Poetries from Chamoli Garhwal; Modern Garhwali Folk Songs,Realistic Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Poems,Realistic Modern Poetries, Contemporary Poetries, Poems folk Poetries from Rudraprayag Garhwal; Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Realistic Modern Poetries, Contemporary Poetries, Contemporary folk Poetries from Tehri Garhwal; Poems, Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Modern Poetries, Contemporary Poetries, Contemporary Folk Poetries from Uttarkashi Garhwal; Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, Realistic Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Poems,Realistic  Modern Poetries,Poems, Contemporary Poetries, Realistic Contemporary folk Poetries Poems from Dehradun Garhwal;
पौड़ी गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ; चमोली  गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ; रुद्रप्रयाग गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ;टिहरी गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ;उत्तरकाशी गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ; देहरादून गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ; 
  स्वच्छ भारत , स्वच्छ भारत ,  धनवान  गढ़वाल

[Bhishma Kukreti]

Jaya Nand Khuksal 'BauLya'-जया नंद खुकसाल 'बौऴया': One of the initiators of Surrealism in  South Asian- Garhwali poetry
(Read L as the L of chhalu, syalu, byali etc , D as in kadu, moad, and DH in paudh, gadhu etc.)
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Critical and Chronological History of Modern Garhwali (Asian) Poetry – 39
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                    Literature Historian:  Bhishma Kukreti
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       There are tens of migrated Garhwali poets who crafted beautiful Garhwali verses about Garhwal and the pain, emptiness of Garhwal because of migration but there are only a couple of Garhwali poets who could create poetry showing the pain, hurting, insults, aloofness, paying struggle, worthless struggle, the burden of two places (in migrated place and in village of Garhwal), the new social community formation where his/her pride is pierced before him/her by the situation or displacement of a common Garhwali migrated to metro or cities of India from lovely Garhwal.
         The common and helpless migrated Garhwali has to struggle with many dimensional situations just not for his own survival but for the present family in Garhwal and for building a new golden future for his next generation. At one side, the newly migrated Garhwali has to face the situation of fast adaptation for materialistic growth in the city and other side , he has to keep the burden of rural culture alive and be ready psychologically and physically at all the time for balancing both the burdens. Though most of the modern Garhwali poems were created by migrated Garhwali but very few Garhwali creative could pay attention on the burdens of migrated Garhwalis. Kanhaiya Lal DandariyaL Lalam Ji and Jaya Nand Khuksal ' BauLya' are remembered in Garhwali poetry field for their poems showing , describing , displaying the sting , the balances and imbalances in accommodating the newer situation occurring every time in migrated land, the soaring agonizing in keeping others happy of migrated Garhwalis . No doubt , Jeet Sing Negi was the first Garhwali verse creator to show the pain of migrated Garhwalis (tu wheli beera uchi nisi danyun man gashiyaryun ka bhesh man, khud man teri run lagun chhaun des pardes man). However, Jeet Singh Negi is more famous for his creating melodious songs (geet) than the modern poems.
Born on 17th October in a farmer family of NooNyun of Aswalsyun, Pauri Garhwal in the year 1925 , Jaya Nand Khuksal served twelve years in the army till 1954. After retiring from army Late Jaya Nand Khuksal shifted to New Delhi he worked Ganesh Flour Mills from 1955 to 1986.
             He created around hundred of poems in Garhwali but we could find only twenty one poems in his only book 'Ilmatu Da' published in the year1988.
        Kanhaya Lal Dandariyal wrote about his unpublished poems, "Garhwali writers are unlucky in publishing their created literature and most of the literature of each writer is dumped in the corner of cupboards. Hundreds of poems created by Jaya Nand Khuksal are tied in funchis (bundles.)"
Most of the poems of Jaya Nand Khuksal come under surrealism. Many of his unpublished poems were read by him in kavisamellan or before his literary friends like Dandariyal, Vinod Uniyal, Prem lal Bhatt, Netra Singh Aswal . One of his poem lover Shri Nand Uniyal said to me , once, about his poems, 'His some poems are purely real experiences of a migrated Garhwali who is not well educated and struggling a lot in Delhi.". Shri Nand Uniyal further explained about those poems, which seems to be the subject of Garhwal are in fact, displays the pain of a migrated Garhwali . Uniyal further said, "The beauty of narration of late 'BauLya' is that even the happenings of Garhwal in his poems show, display, reflect the feeling of migrated Garhwali. This is his exclusivity among Garhwali poets." Chhabis January poem is the best example, which show a real pain of a migrated Garhwali and the real pain of migration.
His formats of Garhwali poetries are unique and became the directional force and inspirational force for newer poets of the language. His style and simplicity in composing the verses made him famous poet of kavisamellan of his time.
His famous poems are :
Ilmatu dada
Ghar basaula
Janm bhoomi
In marilya
Jog maya
GhutDu ki bwai
Chhabis January
Chal bichari Ghara
Chitthi
Control
Sun lya mera praN
Ghughati
Dhandai pukar
Jaya Nand BauLya was always a stern supporter of separate state for Uttrakhand and he criticized the discriminative acts and policies of Uttrapradesh government, administrative officials and red tapes.
The famous Garhwali verse critic Bhagwati Prasad Nautiyal comments on the wordings, composition and format of Jaya Nand' BauLya's poems that late Jaya Nand used unique symbols and similitude, which his other contemporary or older poets never used.
It is the tragedy for Garhwali literature that the creative has to arrange himself for publishing the literature and arrange free distribution too. Late Jaya Nand BauLya was not rich man and could publish only one collection of poems.
        इलमतु दादा
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हैळ लगांदा बुखणा बुखांदा,
इलमतु दादा भदोड़ा बांदा।
कुरता चिरीऊँ ट्वप फट्यूं च ,
क्वाटा बौंळो   सफाचट नी चा। 
घुंड मा सुलार तैको फट्यूं चा;
झपड़म झपड़म हिटणा लग्युं चा। 
रकर्याट कैकि पुंगडौ म आंदा ,
इलमतु दादा भदोड़ा बांदा। 
बळद भि वैका  ठडगैळ छीना ,
ढमणा दुयुं  बैठयांऊ छिना।
रंगू काळा कबरीणा छिना ,
दांत भि ऊंका निखुऴयाउ छिना।
ठेलि ठेलि बि अगनै नि जाँदा ,
इलमतु दादा भदोड़ा बांदा।
हौळो कु वैकु हथनड़ु ,नी चा ,
निसुड़ा का मुख ऊनि ख्वंड्यू च। 
यक सिंग्या ढांगो झिल्लो जुत्युं चा
जिमदार कना को क्वी ढंग नी चा
xx      xxx
को छौ घसेर्यो  सूणि लियां
घुतडु  ब्वे मा  इन बोलि दियां।
पल्य ख्वाळ जैकि छांच मांगी लयां ,
मी खुणि जरा सि छंच्या पकैयां। 
ढया मा खड़ु ह्वै धाद लागांदा
इलमतु दादा भदोड़ा बांदा।

Jaya Nand BauLya was one of the poets who initiated realism in Garhwali poetry.
Copyright @ Bhishma Kukreti Mumbai, 2016
Surrealism in Asian  Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, Surrealism in Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Asian Modern Poetries, Surrealism in Poems Contemporary Poetries, Surrealism in Contemporary folk Poetries from Garhwal; Development of Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, Poems, Surrealism in South Asian    Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Modern Poetries, Contemporary Poetries, Contemporary folk Poetries Poems  from Pauri Garhwal; Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Poems , Modern Poetries, Contemporary Poetries, Surrealism in Contemporary folk Poetries from Chamoli Garhwal; Asian Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, Surrealism in Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Poems, Surrealism in Asian  Modern Poetries, Contemporary Poetries, Poems folk Poetries from Rudraprayag Garhwal Asia; Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, , Asian Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Surrealism in Modern Poetries, Contemporary Poetries, Contemporary folk Poetries from Tehri Garhwal, Asia ; Poems, Surrealism in Inspirational and Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, Surrealism in Asian Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Modern Poetries, Contemporary Poetries, Contemporary Folk Poetries from Uttarkashi Garhwal; , Surrealism in Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Poems, Asian Modern Poetries, Surrealism in Asian Poems, Surrealism in Asian Contemporary Poetries, Contemporary folk Poetries Poems from Dehradun Garhwal; Famous Asian Poets, Famous South Asian Poet , Famous SAARC Countries Poet , Famous Asian Poets of Modern Time ,
पौड़ी गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ; चमोली  गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ; रुद्रप्रयाग गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ;टिहरी गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ;उत्तरकाशी गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ; देहरादून गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ;   Asian Poems for Surrealism; South Asian Poems for Surrealism ; Indian Poems for Surrealism  ; North Indian Poems for  Surrealism  ; Himalayan Poems for Surrealism
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[Bhishma Kukreti]

Best  Harmless Garhwali Literature Humor , Jokes cocktail Parties  ;  Garhwali Literature Comedy Skits  , Jokes cocktail Parties ; Garhwali Literature  Satire , Jokes ;  Garhwali Wit Literature  cocktail Parties, Jokes  ;  Garhwali Sarcasm Literature , Jokes  ;  Garhwali Skits Literature  , Jokes  cocktail Parties;  Garhwali Vyangya   , Jokes   cocktail Parties;  Garhwali Hasya , Jokes   ; गढ़वाली हास्य cocktail Parties, व्यंग्य,  गढ़वाली जोक्स


                                जु मीन कौकटेल पार्टयुं मा सीख
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                                        चबोड़ , चखन्यौ , चचराट :::   भीष्म कुकरेती   

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भौत सा लोक खासकर प्रवासी गढवळि बुल्दन बल कौकटेल पार्टी  बकबास करणो तरीका च , समय बर्बाद करणो  तरीका च अर पैसा उड़ानों एक व्यसन  च।  असल मा गलत बुल्दन। कौकटेल पार्टी से आप स्यु सीख सकदन जु मैनेजमेंट क्लास मा नि सीख सकदा , उन आम क्लास मा नि सीख सकदा अर वु चीज ब्वे बाबुं से नि सीख सकदां जु कौकटेल पार्टयुं से सीख सकदां।
मीन गढ़वळयूं द्वारा गढ़वळयूं खुणै कौकटेल पार्टयुं मा इ सीख कि हम गढ़वळि ना अपितु प्रवासी छंवां।
मीन गढ़वळयूं द्वारा गढ़वळयूं खुणै कौकटेल पार्टयुं मा इ जाण कि गढ़वाळ का गढ़वळि अब अळगसि ह्वे गेन , निकज्ज ह्वे गैन अर यूंन खेती छोड़ आल।
मीन गढ़वळयूं द्वारा गढ़वळयूं खुणै कौकटेल पार्टयुं मा इ जाण कि अब गढ़वाळम कुछ नि धर्युं च  , गढ़वाळम   रौणै जगा नि च , अधिकांश कूड़ खंद्वार ह्वे गेन।
मीन कौकटेल पार्टी मा हरेक  दोस्त से सूण  कि मेरी घरवळि बुलणि छे बल टीवी कॉमर्शियल  मा   दिखाए जाण वळ रोटी मेकर रुटि ना इकड़ी रुटि बणान्द मतलब खाकरा बणान्द।  मतलब  हरेक दूर ढोल सुहाना हूंदन , हरेक चीज ज्वा चमकदि च सोना नि हूंद अर हरेक टीवी कॉमर्शियल चैनल मा जु डिमॉन्स्ट्रेशन हूंद वु प्रैक्टिकल हो यांकी  गारंटी ना तो मनमोहन सिंघन दे , ना नरेंद्र दामोदर द्यालो अर राहुल गांधी से तो कॉंग्रेस बि नाउम्मीदी की उम्मीद करदी ।
मीन डेढ़ साल पैल गढ़वळयूं द्वारा गढ़वळयूं खुणै कौकटेल पार्टयुं मा इ सूण याल छौ कि खंडूड़ी अर कोशियारी तो सतहत्तर साल से अळगाक छन ,डा  निशंक पर भ्रस्टाचार का आरोप साबित नि ह्वेन पर छ्वीं त लग छन , टेहरी राणी जी अबि ताजी ताजी एमपी बणी च तो चार्युं मादे कैतै बि  मोदीन मंत्री नि बणान।  इन मा अजय टमटान ही मंत्री बणण।  कौकटेल पार्टयुं मा इ सूण कि यदयपि खंडूड़ी ,  कोशियारी,  डा  निशंक , टेहरी राणी जी अर बगैर एक फुट रेल पटरी दियां रेल पुरुष बण्या भद्र पुरुष याने सतपाल महाराज जी नि चांदन कि अजय टमटा मंत्री बौणन।
मीन गढ़वळयूं द्वारा गढ़वळयूं खुणै कौकटेल पार्टयुं मा इ जाण याल कि प्रियंका गांधी उत्तर प्रदेश मा कांग्रेसक चुनाव प्रचार कौर बि लेली पर वींन  उत्तराखंड म प्रचार नि करण। जनि पता चौालल कि प्रियंका उत्तराखंड आणि च तनी  भाजपा न आरोप लगै दीण कि प्रेम नगर छ्वाड़ रॉबर्ट बाड्रा की बेनामी जमीन च।
मीन कौकटेल पार्टयुं मा इ जाण कि मुंबई से अधिक सुख अमेरिका मा च , बच्चों का वास्ता रोजगार का अवसर अमेरिका मा मुंबई से अधिक छन अर  कौकटेल पार्टयुं मा ईबी  जाण कि अमेरिका मा अपसंस्कृति अर तनाव मुंबई से अधिक च किलकि  अमेरिका मा काम करण पड़द।
मीन कौकटेल पार्टयुं मा इ जाण कि नरेंद्र मोदीक आण से द्वी नंबरों पैसा सर्कुलेशन से गायब ह्वे गे अर रियल्टी याने प्रॉपर्टी मार्केट टाइट चलणो च।  तो फ्लैट नी बिकणा छन।  किन्तु फ्लैटों दाम कम नि होणा छन किलैकि अधिकासं बिलडरों फाइनेशर , भामाशाह तो राजनैतिक नेता इ जि छन।
मीन गढ़वळी  द्वारा गढ़वळयूं खुणै कौकटेल पार्टयुं मा इ जाण कि गढ़वाळम दारु पीणो रिवाज भौत बढ़ गे अर गढ़वाळम स्थति बद से बदतर हूणि च।  जैदिन जैं कौकटेल पार्टी मां या बात जाण वैदिन होटल का बिल मि तैं चुकाण पद किलैकि जैन होटलम कौकटेल पार्टी रखीं   छे वैका क्रेडिट कार्ड नो मनी अवेलेबल दिखाणु छौ। 
क्षमा कर्याँ मि हौर अधिक नि लेख सकुद किलकि मीन एक जगा 'शराब से शरीर अर बुद्धि दोनों का नाश  ' पर भाषण दीणो जाण अर वैक बाद एक गैर गढ़वाली दोस्त की कौकटेल पार्टी मां जाण अर उख जु बि सिखुल मि तुम तैं बथौंलु।   

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6 /7/2016 ,Copyright@ Bhishma Kukreti , Mumbai India
*लेख की   घटनाएँ ,  स्थान व नाम काल्पनिक हैं । लेख में  कथाएँ , चरित्र , स्थान केवल हौंस , हौंसारथ , खिकताट , व्यंग्य रचने  हेतु उपयोग किये गए हैं।

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Best of Garhwali Humor Literature in Garhwal
i Language , Jokes  ; Best of Himalayan Satire in Garhwali Language Literature cocktail Parties, Jokes  ; Best of  Uttarakhand Wit in Garhwali Language Literature , Jokes  cocktail Parties; Best of  North Indian Spoof in Garhwali Language Literature ; Best of  Regional Language Lampoon in Garhwali Language  Literature , Jokes cocktail Parties ; Best of  Ridicule in Garhwali Language Literature , Jokes  cocktail Parties; Best of  Mockery in Garhwali Language Literature  , Jokes    ; Best of  Send-up in Garhwali Language Literature  ; Best of  Disdain in Garhwali Language Literature  , Jokes  ; Best of  Hilarity in Garhwali Language Literature , Jokes  ; Best of  Cheerfulness in Garhwali Language  Literature   ;  Best of Garhwali Humor in Garhwali Language Literature  from Pauri Garhwal , Jokes  ; Best of Himalayan Satire Literature in Garhwali Language from Rudraprayag Garhwal cocktail Parties ; Best of Uttarakhand Wit in Garhwali Language from Chamoli Garhwal  ; Best of North Indian Spoof in Garhwali Language from Tehri Garhwal  ; Best of Regional Language Lampoon in Garhwali Language from Uttarkashi Garhwal  ; Best of Ridicule in Garhwali Language from Bhabhar Garhwal   ;  Best of Mockery  in Garhwali Language from Lansdowne Garhwal  ; Best of Hilarity in Garhwali Language from Kotdwara Garhwal   ; Best of Cheerfulness in Garhwali Language from Haridwar   cocktail Parties ;
Garhwali Vyangya, Jokescocktail Parties  ; Garhwali Hasya , Jokes ;  Garhwali skits cocktail Parties, Jokes  ; Garhwali short Skits cocktail Parties, Jokes , Garhwali Comedy Skits , Jokes , Humorous Skits in Garhwali , Jokes, Wit Garhwali Skits , Jokes 
गढ़वाली हास्य , व्यंग्य ; गढ़वाली हास्य , व्यंग्य ; गढ़वाली  हास्य , व्यंग्य,  गढ़वाली जोक्स , उत्तराखंडी जोक्स , गढ़वाली हास्य मुहावरे
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      स्वच्छ भारत  , स्वच्छ भारत , समृद्ध   उत्तराखंड ! 
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Regards

Bhishma Kukreti

[Bhishma Kukreti]

               Bad Dancer blaming uneven Stage     
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                  South Asian Humor Column by: Bhishma Kukreti
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                  People play games all the times, everywhere with everybody. One of the playing game is blaming others even for own fault or shortcomings. These days, in Indian politics, blaming others for own fault is very common.
        Last evening my neighbor's son was caught by anti corruption bureau for paying bribe. Neighbor was blaming Narendra Modi not stopping corruption. 
       Congress blames Bhartiya Janta Party for groupings in Congress and Bharity Janta Party blames Congress for BJP not getting seat in Parliament election in Tamilnadu.BJP has been blaming Congress for BJP not able to fulfill its promises done in the general election. Am Admi Party has been blaming Narendra Modi that Am Admi government is unable to fulfill the promises AAP made in Delhi assembly election.
     Common men, elites and even the TV anchors as Arnab Goswamy show distress that politicians blame opposition parties for their own faults. I do not show any shock for Bhartiya Janta party blaming Congress party for BJP led government's failures. I have been in sales profession and I know very well the importance of bad dancer blaming the uneven stage for her or his own bad performances.
      In sales, it is said that before joining to sales profession the sales person  should know the tact of blaming others for his own bad performances.
  If you ask any sales man for the reason of not achieving sales target he will have following choices to blame others for his own non performances.
  Boss – Mr. Salesman! You did not achieve your target this year too. Why?
Salesman- Sir Narendra Modi became the Prime Minister.
Boss – What the hell! What is there to Narendra Modi being PM with your non performance?
Salesman- Sir, after Modi becoming PM the recession reached to India.
Boss – Why did market become slow after Narendra Modi became PM?
Salesman- There was slow down in Black money circulation.
Boss – I am not convinced.
Salesman- Sir! Immediate competitor's publicity was more than us.
Boss- But last month, I provided you the figures that our publicity expenditure was double than the immediate competitor.
Salesman- The prices of third competitor were very low in market
Boss- There is no distribution network of third competitor in your area.
Salesman- Sir! There are many service problems in our products.
Boss- Last month, when you achieved your  sales target then you said that you achieved because of excellent product quality and excellent technical service back up.
Salesman- Sir! Give me five minutes for finding out why I failed.
Long back in a monthly meet in February, I found that there was an outstanding on a dealer (client) for more than three months.
I – Salesman! There is quite old outstanding on Pandharpur dealer.
Salesman- Sir! There was flood in Pandharpur and people had to go here and there by boats.
My assistant- Dear Salesman! Flood in Pandharpur was not this year but last year.
Salesman- Oh My god!  Let me have five minutes for finding out the real reason.
     I have been a Sales Supervisor or Sales Manager for more than thirty eight years and no single sales meeting had been there where a salesman did not provide fancy reasons for his own failure.
     We human being has a permanent habit for blaming others for our own faults.
   Do you not blame uneven stage for you bad dancing performance?

/7/2016 Copyright@ Bhishma Kukreti, Mumbai
Bad Dancer blaming uneven Stage  game in sales;  South Asian Humor column by Garhwali Humorist about Bad Dancer blaming uneven Stage  ; South Asian Humor column by Uttarakhandi Humorist about Bad Dancer blaming uneven Stage      ; South Asian Humor column by Himalayan Humorist  about Bad Dancer blaming uneven Stage      ; South Asian Humor column by North Indian Humorist  about Bad Dancer blaming uneven Stage      ; South Asian Humor column by Resident of Mumbai Humorist  about Bad Dancer blaming uneven Stage      ; South Asian Humor column by Maharashtra resident Humorist  about Bad Dancer blaming uneven Stage      ;South Asian Humor column by Indian Humorist  about Bad Dancer blaming uneven Stage      ; South Asian Humor column by SAARC Country Humorist  about Bad Dancer blaming uneven Stage     

[Bhishma Kukreti]

                         Trail Administration in Shrinagar               
     -               
       Administration of G. W. Trail in Garhwal and Kumaon -5

History of British Rule/Administration over Kumaun and Garhwal (1815-1947) -6
            History of Uttarakhand (Garhwal, Kumaon and Haridwar) -844
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                              By: Bhishma Kukreti (History Student)
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              Trail changed a few administrative systems by reviewing old system and customs in Shrinagar.
                     Jhula Construction on Alaknanda River
      In Shrinagar, for crossing Alaknanda River there was a rope way bridge (Jhula). Constructors used to dismantle the rope way bridge before monsoon arrival. Most probably the rope way bridge   was from a big stone near the King palace. The Jhula construction and dismantling system was same in Gurkha regime as was in Garhwali king regime. Before, trail came, the bridge constructors (Manjhi) constructed Rope Way Bridge on Alaknanda. Gurkha administrators used to pay from Gurkha rupees 20 to 50 to bridge constructors (Manjhi). The Bridge constructors demanded for Farrukhabadi Rs 15 from Trail and Trail accepted the demand for constructing the Bridge on Alaknanda River. (Pre Mutiny Records 1816, part 1)
                         Donation for Temples
           In Garhwali King Period and Gurkha period, the state used to collect tax from pilgrims at Sayar ( A Chabutara for pilgrims ) in Shrinagar for temples.
      From the above collection, state used to offer donations for following 36 temples –Badrinath, Kursh Muroni, Hanuman (talla) , Hanuman ( Uprala), Keshoray (Talla), Keshoray (Uprala), Kamleshwar, Budha Kedar, Juntur, Nagsur, Dakshin kali, Mahishmardani, Gorakhnath, nandadevi, Shitaladevi, Vilkeshwar etc.
In 1812, there was income from pilgrims for Gurkha Rs 1269 (Farukhavadi Rs. 951 and twelve Ana ) In 1816, the income from pilgrims was Farukhavadi Rs 999 and 10 Ana. Trail distributed that income to temples under British Garhwal. Trail left the responsibility to Tehri King for donations to the temple of Tehri Kingdom.
                      Contract for Import Duty on Grass in Shrinagar

           There was import duty on Grass coming to Shrinagar from outside in Garhwali Kingdom and Gurkha Rule too.
         In the year 1813, there was income by import levy on Gras for Gurkha Rs.120 (Farukhavadi Rs 90).
     Trail passed contract for four Ana per day for Grass Import duty to a contractor.
                  State Seal on Taka (Coins)
  In Garhwali kingdom and Gurkha period, people used to come to State Mint with their copper and used to make coins with state Seal on coins. Coin maker used to pay a fee. Coin making at State Mint was done by the contractor. Trail kept the same system of coin making. Trail guessed for the income for F.Rs 100 from the Mint.
                         Excise Levies
        There was income for Gurkha Rs 270/- from the levies on soaps, narcotic materials as Tobacco, Charas etc through contractors. Trail passed the contract for excise levies on the above materials for Twelve Ana per day to a contractor. Trail was sure of more income from the excise duty on above items.
                  Marriage Gifts to the State
          In Garhwali King Period and Gurkha Period, there was a state levy for marriages taking place in Shrinagar. The state used to offer a Turban to the couple. Trail stopped levies on marriages.
                       Donations for Badri and Kedar Temples
                There was a custom that Governments under Garhwali King and later Gurkha rule used to pay donations for Badrinath and Kedar Temple. In 1813, Gurkha administration paid Gurkha Rs 280 (F Rs- 210) to the temples.
         Trail requested for money from his bosses for donations to the temples.  Johan Adam sent a permission letter on 15th April 1816, for Trail for offering donation for Rs 210 to Badrinath and Kedarnath temples (Atkinson ).
     The Garhwali Kingdom and Kumaon Kingdom donated 226 villages to Badrinath and Kumaon temples ( Vishnupriti). The income of temples from those villages was around Rs 2080 annually. British high command instructed Trail not to interfere in religious activities. Trail was instructed that he should check that the income from villages should not be used for personal uses by temple authorities.  (Hamilton). 




(Chapter Reference - English Pre Mutiny Records, Kumaon 1816, part-1, Vol. – 7 , Atkinson, Himalyan districts volume 3, page 25, Hamilton )

Copyright@ Bhishma Kukreti Mumbai, India, bckukreti@gmail.com 7/7/2016
History of Garhwal – Kumaon-Haridwar (Uttarakhand, India) to be continued... Part -845
*** History of British Rule/Administration over Kumaun, (Pauri , Rudraprayag, and Chamoli) Garhwal (1815-1947) to be continued in next chapter
(The History of Garhwal, Kumaon, Haridwar write up is aimed for general readers)
XX   
References   
1-Shiv Prasad Dabral 'Charan', Uttarakhand ka Itihas, Part -7 Garhwal par British -Shasan,  part -1, page 123 
2-Maularam, Badariashtak
3-Devar, English Pre Mutiny Records
4- Atkinson, Himalayan Districts vol. 3 ,
5- English Pre Mutiny Records, Kumaon 1816, part-1, Vol. – 7
6- Johan Pemble , Invasion of Nepal
7- Hmailton, Description of Hindustan vol. 2, page 638)
      Xx
History of British Rule, Administration, Policies, Revenue system,  over Garhwal, Kumaon, Uttarakhand; History of British Rule, Administration, Policies Revenue system  over Pauri Garhwal, Udham Singh Nagar Kumaon, Uttarakhand; History of British Rule, Administration, Policies ,Revenue system  over Chamoli Garhwal, Nainital Kumaon, Uttarakhand; History of British Rule, Administration, Policies ,Revenue system  over Rudraprayag Garhwal, Almora Kumaon, Uttarakhand; History of British Rule, Administration, Policies ,Revenue system  over Dehradun , Champawat Kumaon, Uttarakhand; History of British Rule, Administration, Policies, ,Revenue system  over Bageshwar  Kumaon, Uttarakhand;
History of British Rule, Administration, Policies, Revenue system over Haridwar, Pithoragarh Kumaon, Uttarakhand;

[Bhishma Kukreti]

Satirical Shorter  Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, Poems

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              कलम   (गढ़वाली छिटगा कविता )

रचना --    ( जन्म  -  गढमोनू , खातस्यूं , पौड़ी गढ़वाल  )
Poetry  by - Mohan Sailani
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( गढ़वाली कविता  क्रमगत इतिहास  भाग -131  )
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इंटरनेट प्रस्तुति और व्याख्या : भीष्म कुकरेती
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पैली कलम
पुंगड्युं अर बणौ मा /उपजदा छै
अब बाजार मा बिकणी छन
तुमी ब्वाला /बिकीं कलम
क्या खाक लिखणी छन !


In old age,
Reed pens grew  in forests or  farms
Now, pens are sold in markets 
Tell me !
Can   the  auctioned pen write the reality ?
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    छिटगा -2
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वो क्या जाणी पहाड़ कू दर्द
जौंन पर्वत पखाण नि द्यखिन
दूर बटी देखिक
पहाड़ का हमदर्द बणण वळो
अरे जावा
तुम जना भौत द्यखीन !
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   छिटगा -3
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हां रे हाँ
सची त भै /हम छंवां निर्भाग
हमर पहाड्युं कू भाग
पुटगि मा आग / पुंगण्यूं मा नाग
अर गुठ्यार मा बाघ
हां रै हां
हम छौं निर्भाग !
अर

( साभार -- अंग्वाळ )
Poetry Copyright@ Poet
Copyright @ Bhishma Kukreti  interpretation if any

Satirical Shorter Modern Garhwali Folk Songs,Satirical Shorter Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Modern Poetries Satirical Shorter  Poems Contemporary Poetries, Contemporary folk Poetries from Garhwal;Satirical Shorter  Modern Garhwali Folk Songs,Poems  Modern Garhwali Folk Verses,Satirical Shorter  Modern Poetries, Contemporary Poetries, Contemporary folk Poetries Poems  from Pauri Garhwal; Satirical Shorter Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Poems , Modern Poetries, Contemporary Poetries, Contemporary folk Poetries from Chamoli Garhwal;Satirical Shorter  Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Poems, Satirical Shorter  Modern Poetries, Contemporary Poetries, Poems folk Poetries from Rudraprayag Garhwal; Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, Satirical Shorter  Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Modern Poetries, Contemporary Poetries, Contemporary folk Poetries from Tehri Garhwal; Poems, Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Satirical Shorter Modern Poetries, Contemporary Poetries, Contemporary Folk Poetries from Uttarkashi Garhwal; Satirical Shorter Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, Satirical Shorter Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Poems,Satirical Shorter  Modern Poetries,Poems, Contemporary Poetries, Contemporary folk Poetries Poems from Dehradun Garhwal;
पौड़ी गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ; चमोली  गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ; रुद्रप्रयाग गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ;टिहरी गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ;उत्तरकाशी गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ; देहरादून गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ; 
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  स्वच्छ भारत , स्वच्छ भारत ,  धनवान  गढ़वाल

[Bhishma Kukreti]

Kulanand Bhartiya: A politician and Asian Garhwali Poet of Story oriented long Poetry 

Critical and Chronological History of Modern Garhwali (Asian) Poetry – 40

                    Literature Historian:  Bhishma Kukreti
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           Kulanand Bhardwaj Bhartiya is a multitalented personality. Most of the Garhwalis know late Kulanand Bhartiya as famous Garhwali social worker and politician of Delhi. Kulanand Bhartiya was representing Shaktinagar region of Delhi as politician.
            However, Kulanand Bhartiya has been publishing his poems in regional periodicals. Critics praise his famous storied long poem  (Khand Kavya ) 'Daulya' for his story narration and subject of discussion on the so called benefits of migration and to search employment in Garhwal only.
Kulanand Bhartiya was born in a Himalayan village Jamni, Malla Salt of Kumaon border of Garhwal on 24th May 1926.
              Kulanad is famous in Garhwali literature for his Khandkavya (storied long poem) 'Daulya'. The poems are in lyric form and are very pleasure some. The story surrounds two illiterate friends of a Garhwali village who come to Delhi in search of job. One of two takes job in different hotels. Another fellow gets job as butler with a learned professor. This fellow with professor study in night schools and become manger with a private firm after gaining higher education through night schools. Time comes, when the illiterate fellow wants to marry his daughter with the son of his friend but the educated fellow goes to village for marrying his son that there would be link with Garhwal.
           Small epic 'Daulya' is effective so many variables between the life of cities and villages, the changing psychology of villagers towards working in the village, the desire of village youth for work in cities and their escaping psychology for easy works available in villages. The poet depicted successfully the life and confusion, confrontation, frustration of villagers and city workers simultaneously in 'Daulya'.
According Bahuguna (1981) , Kualanand Bhartiya uses imagery tool in depicting geography of Garhwal and simple Salani dialects in his poetry.

काळी  को रैबार


रचना --कुलानन्द भारतीय (1926 , जामणी , सल्ट , दुशांत)


काळी ल द्याख, नौऴया राम , मालुम ह्वेई।  दिल्ली जाम
दौड़ी दौड़ी वख , काळी आई , घास काटणु छोड़ आई
आवाज वींल नौऴया थैं देइ , द्यूरा !   ऊँथैं जाणदा ह्वैला।
दिल्ली म ऊँथैं जरूर पैला , म्यारु रैबार , भेजी दियां
भली क समझैक बोली दियां , खामू , पीमू , रमू यख
द्वी साल ह्वैगे , तुम नि आया , ब्याऊ कैरीक , क्या मिल पाया। 
दिन रात मीत कददू घास , ब्वै बाब तुमरा नि गडदा बाच
दड़िमा की डाळी फूली ग्याई , आमूं की डाळी पर , बौर आई
सरसों खेती फूली ग्याई , पर मेरी दुनिया बांजी रै ग्याई।
द्यूरा ! ऊंमा बोली दियां , ये साल घौर जरूर अयाँ
चिट्ठी पत्री भेजदी रयां खयाँ पियाँ , भलीक रयाँ
कातिग तुम घर अयाँ , मंगसिर मिथैं दिल्ली लिजैंयाँ । 


( साभार --शैलवाणी , अंग्वाळ )
Copyright @ Bhishma Kukreti Mumbai, 2016
Asian  Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Asian Modern Poetries, Poems Contemporary Poetries, Contemporary folk Poetries from Garhwal; Development of Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, Poems, South Asian    Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Modern Poetries, Contemporary Poetries, Contemporary folk Poetries Poems  from Pauri Garhwal; Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Poems , Modern Poetries, Contemporary Poetries, Contemporary folk Poetries from Chamoli Garhwal; Asian Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Poems, Asian  Modern Poetries, Contemporary Poetries, Poems folk Poetries from Rudraprayag Garhwal Asia; Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, , Asian Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Modern Poetries, Contemporary Poetries, Contemporary folk Poetries from Tehri Garhwal, Asia ; Poems,  Inspirational and Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, Asian Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Modern Poetries, Contemporary Poetries, Contemporary Folk Poetries from Uttarkashi Garhwal; , Modern Garhwali Folk Songs, Modern Garhwali Folk Verses, Poems, Asian Modern Poetries, Asian Poems, Asian Contemporary Poetries, Contemporary folk Poetries Poems from Dehradun Garhwal; Famous Asian Poets, Famous South Asian Poet , Famous SAARC Countries Poet , Famous Asian Poets of Modern Time,
पौड़ी गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ; चमोली  गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ; रुद्रप्रयाग गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ;टिहरी गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ;उत्तरकाशी गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ; देहरादून गढ़वाल, उत्तराखंड  से गढ़वाली लोकगीत , कविता ;   Asian Poems for imagery; South Asian Poems for imagery ; Indian Poems for  imagery; North Indian Poems for   imagery; Himalayan Poems for imagery
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[Bhishma Kukreti]

Humorous Garhwali oxymoron
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                                    हास्युक्त विरोधाभाषी शब्द , वाक्य , कथ्य -1
                                    गढ़वाळि हास्य -व्यंग्यकोष -भाग - 38     

                               Garhwali Humorous and Satirical Dictionary part - 38

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                                     खुज्याण , छिंडन, छँटण, बिंवन,  उकरण   ::: भीष्म कुकरेती
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महान मंदी
मि दया  दिखाणम बड़ो  निर्दयी छौं
सुखाक बान कष्ट
कष्टकारी सुख
क्षकारी अानंद
साफ साफ भ्रमित
अाकर्षक बदसूरती 
अाकर्षक निर्दयी
अाकर्षक हिंसा
मुर्दा जन चलण /हिटण
मुर्दा जन जिंदा
एकी चीज मांगन चुनण
इखुल्या इखुली अपण  दगड़ रौण 
वास्तविकता का नजीक
सुख शांति मा  दुखी
मठु मठु करिक दौड़ण
कमी की बहुतायत
प्रयाप्त  कमी 
छुटि सि  भीड़
काळो बरफ
फिर वु सुख से किराण
खुलो रहस्य
निष्क्रिय रूप से चपल /क्रियाशील
अदृश्य रुप  मा दृश्य
दैंत्याकार छुटु ब च्चा 
अजीब ढंग से साधारण
साधारण विलखणि
कीमत हीन सोना
भारी बर्त
बर्त मा पेट भौरिक दूध -फल --गुड़ खाण
वास्तविक /असल नकल
असाधारण अनुपस्थिति /भौत बड़ी गैरहाजरी
त्यार मरणम मजा नी अाणु  च जरा ठीक से मोर 
अंतहीन दुख चौड़ खतम हूंण
लापता दिखेण
समझदार मुर्ख
दूरदर्शन का अंधा दर्शक अर अाकाशवाणी का बैरा श्रोता 
अच्छी पीड़ा
निहुण्या कु हूण
चुप्पी वळि  भयंकर अवाज
निर्मित /कृत्रिम प्राकृतिक गैस
साफ सुथरी गंदी जनानी /साफ  सुथर गन्दु बच्चा

 

7/ 7/16 @ Bhishma Kukreti , Mumbai, India

Garhwali Satire, Humor,   Dictionary oxymoron , Garhwali Satire  Dictionary oxymoron collected and edited by born in village Jaspur ;oxymoron Garhwali Satire Humor, Dictionary collected and edited by born in Dhangu Patti ; Garhwali Satire Humor,oxymoron Dictionary collected and edited by born in Dwarikhal Block ; oxymoron Garhwali Satire Humor, oxymoron Dictionary collected and edited by born in Gangasalan Pargana ; Garhwali Satire Humor, Dictionary collected and edited by born in Lainsdowne Tehsil ; Garhwali Satire Humor, oxymoron Dictionary collected and edited by born in Pauri Garhwal ; Garhwali Satire  Humor,oxymoron  Dictionary collected and edited by born in Uttarakhand; Garhwali Satire  Humor, oxymoron Dictionary collected and edited by born in Central Himalaya ;Garhwali Satire Humor,oxymoron Dictionary collected and edited by born in  North India;Garhwali Satire  Humor, oxymoron Dictionary collected and edited by born in South Asia ;oxymoron Garhwali Satire Humor,Dictionary; Garhwali send-up lexicon oxymoron  ; Garhwali spoof vocabulary oxymoron ; Garhwali lampoon oxymoron glossary; Garhwali Satire Humor,phrase book; oxymoron word list; Garhwali Humor, Satire thesaurus oxymoron ;   
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                                     स्वच्छ भारत ! स्वच्छ भारत ! बुद्धिमान भारत !     

[Bhishma Kukreti]

South Asian Humor Column

         Will M.S. Dhoni Captain World Cup 2019
         
          Humor Column by: Bhishma Kukreti
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             Yesterday was great captain Dhoni's birth day. I wanted to write about MSD. However, already so much is written about Mahi that I did not have anything to write new. Even, nothing is left for me writing on Dhoni as manager he whole day, through Whatsapp, my readers were asking me for writing about Mahendra Singh Dhoni. I had to write. Everything is known to readers about the Past of Dhoni. Only his future was unknown.
        For knowing the future of Dhoni, I met a cricket correspondent in a club. He was sitting at bar with ice bawl on his first slip and cashew nuts at second slip and 'masala papar' at gully. I ordered vodka with tonic for him and a rum with coke for me, and asked," What are the chances for Dhoni captaining in World Cup?"
             The cricket expert gulped vodka, readjusted the cashew nuts from second to first slip and masala papar to the boundary of the table and answered, "It depends on the pitch conditions of Anurag Thakur and Sharad Pawar and the lost chemistry between Arun Jetaly and former cricketer Kirti Azad.  I would rather wait for a while before giving my decision for what Kirti Azad runs for."
   I ordered a gin with tonic for him and a gin with mineral water for myself, and asked, "But, Dhoni is sweating very much in Gym on daily basis for his fitness for world cup 2019."
"Yes! Dhoni is working hard for killing his age effects" the expert said, catching the Chicken fine  leg  and pushing pea nuts bawl towards my corner and putting again it slightly square," For that matter, every cricketer is sweating in Gyms because of rainy season. Sweating in Gym is not the guarantee for getting captaincy in world cup."
" His reflexes are better than many Ranji Trophy wicket keepers" I said and ordering Vodka with Rum and Tiquira for the expert and Whisky with Eau-de-vie on the rock for myself.
Dhoni is not kept in Indian side for wicket keeping." He said replacing pork tenderloin by chijeu-buldak at third man.
"Still Mahendra Singh is finest finisher in the world though, at present running a bad form" ordering 'rakia' with 'mastika' for the expert and 'chacha' with quzo without water for myself.
" Dhoni is  kept in team not for  batting" said the cricket encyclopedia , pulling  lamb tagine from my crease to his boundary. 
"Well! you and as per other journalists experts, Dhoni is kept in Indian team or for that matter any tem in IPL for Captaincy and neither for wicket keeping nor for finisher  batsman." Ordering whatever drinks bar tender suggested without water for the both.
"It is the question that every journalist wishing to answer for increasing the Chanel TRP and by that protecting his own reputation" pushing lamb fricassee towards off side and pulling chicken nuggets from the deep cover.
"That is why I came to you" I said.
"It all depends on the action of Kirti Azad."  He answered by surprising me, and throwing Kuruvadu Thokku skeletons.
"What does Kirti Azad have to do with Dhoni captaining ? I asked, ordering Deshi Daru (country liquor) for final kick.
He opened," See! If Kirti Azad patches with Aurn Jaitley then Mohendar Amarnath would also patch and automatically, Ashok Malhotra, Ashok Sharma and Gautam Gambhir would come on Jaitley side. That chorus is utterly against Dhoni. Their influences on Jaitley will see that Dhoni is not  in Indian team and not in Jharkhand team too."
"I don't think Azad will patch up with Jaitley." I said, ordering more Deashi Daru for real final kick.
'Then, nobody can stop Dhoni captaining world cup. The expert said and gulping three Deshi daru glasses at a time.
I was thinking about the drink that could give us real kick and did not say anything.
The great Indian cricket expert asked me," What do you think about chances of Dhoni remaining captain for the world cup?"
I answered seriously," If Dhoni kills the male goat for sacrifice in the Ranchi Devi Temples he would lose the captaincy and if he does not kill the male goat for his own success he will be captaining world cup."
Great cricket expert bent and touching my legs said," Pundit Ji! Salute to you. I was in search for a story lead on Dhoni. Now, I will research on Dhoni killing animals for his success"





 


8//7/2016, Copyright@ Bhishma Kukreti, Mumbai
South Asian Humor column by Garhwali Humorist about  Dhoni sacrificing Goat for success; South Asian Humor column by Uttarakhandi Humorist about Dhoni killing animal for success  ; South Asian Humor column by Himalayan Humorist  about Dhoni killing animal for success  ; South Asian Humor column by North Indian Humorist  about Dhoni killing animal for success  ; South Asian Humor column by Resident of Mumbai Humorist  about Dhoni killing animal for success  ; South Asian Humor column by Maharashtra resident Humorist  about Dhoni killing animal for success  ;South Asian Humor column by Indian Humorist  about Dhoni killing animal for success  ; South Asian Humor column by SAARC Country Humorist  about   Dhoni killing animal for success